Growing up in thrift stores and complications
Thursday, February 23, 2017
I wrote this a few nights ago...
It's a bunch of nonsense
Another sleepless night
Another pack of cigarettes
The night is so pretty...
Sometimes I can be happy
It'll seem like nothing can bring me down
But then I'm pulling my hair down, covering my face
Hands tracing my necklace, looking for the clasp
And then I'm stripping down
And in an instant everything is falling apart
I'm lying down half naked
Feeling like the worst person in the world
Staring up at my wall
Seeking the perfect song to drown myself in
Hands tracing my leg
Along my cheek
Nothing feels right
If only I could learn to like myself
I'm falling apart again
I can't sleep
Sometimes I wonder why I let myself fall so low.
Why I seek his warmth when I'm at my lowest
When I know he'll only argue with me
Push me, tell me to let him work
Maybe because I know that he'll come back
Patting my head, telling me I look pretty
Making stupid comments to make me laugh
Seeking through all the songs on my phone
Desperately trying to find the right one
And then the itch starts again
Hair falling over my face
Clothes strewn all over the place
Everything is coming back
I want to change the person I am.
don't know what's going on in my head. What to feel.
I doesn't make sense. It made sense in my head but now it doesn't.
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