Thursday, February 23, 2017

Nxt


I wrote this a few nights ago...

It's a bunch of nonsense

Another sleepless night

Another pack of cigarettes 

The night is so pretty...

Sometimes I can be happy

It'll seem like nothing can bring me down 

But then I'm pulling my hair down, covering my face

Hands tracing my necklace, looking for the clasp 

And then I'm stripping down 

And in an instant everything is falling apart 

I'm lying down half naked

Feeling like the worst person in the world

Staring up at my wall Seeking the perfect song to drown myself in

Hands tracing my leg

Along my cheek

Nothing feels right

If only I could learn to like myself

I'm falling apart again 

I can't sleep 

Another mess...

Sometimes I wonder why I let myself fall so low. 

Why I seek his warmth when I'm at my lowest 

When I know he'll only argue with me

Push me, tell me to let him work

Maybe because I know that he'll come back 

Patting my head, telling me I look pretty 

Making stupid comments to make me laugh

Another cigarette 

Another night

Seeking through all the songs on my phone

Desperately trying to find the right one

And then the itch starts again 

Hair falling over my face 

Clothes strewn all over the place 

Everything is coming back

I want to change the person I am.

I don't know what's going on in my head. What to feel.I doesn't make sense. It made sense in my head but now it doesn't.

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